1. White women are stealing from black men.

Trust me, no one is stealing them. It is your choice to date outside of your race. And what if they are? Love is love and it comes in all colors, shapes and sizes. Sistas need to stop growling at Caucasian women who choose to be with Black men. It’s 2010 and everyone should explore new things and consider the possibilities of finding love beyond the limits we set for ourselves. Instead of hating, maybe you should follow suit. Try something new, you might surprise yourself.

2. Straight hair is beautiful hair.

I agree, it can be. But your natural, kinky/curly locks are beautiful too. I have seen an overwhelming number of black women go against the grain and choose to go natural. For those who haven’t crossed over yet, natural does not mean buckwheat. There are so many wonderful looks that you can achieve with your natural hair.

3. There are no good black men around.

I know it seems that way because the only ones who seem to be in your face are the crazy ones. But there are crazy men and women in every culture. The good ones are the ones who are at work, at home or out there doing good things. Get involved in some positive activities and you will be surprised who you run into.

4. Claiming to be mixed with another race makes me superior.

We’ve all heard this “I have Indians in my family.” It’s great to recognize that you are made up of different cultures and have love for all of them, but today, everyone is mixed up with something. We are all made of many things, but I have seen some try to downplay their African roots. Black is really beautiful, and the way he blends in with others makes it even more so. Celebrate it and elevate it.

5. I must be light-skinned to be considered beautiful.

Everything light is not always good. Even today in 2010, some black women are still in for that color bias treatment. I have three words for you, “Get over it.” Black women are beautiful no matter what shade of brown we are. If you are blessed with sun-kissed chocolate skin, love it and take good care of it. There aren’t many other cultures in the world that have individuals as beautiful and unique as you. And if you have a lighter ending, love yourself too, but please don’t belittle or ridicule our darker brothers and sisters.

6. I need to act and sound “white” to be accepted in corporate America.

First of all, there really is no such thing as acting or looking white. Of course, most African-Americans use it as a way to describe someone who speaks clear English, but not all Caucasians speak fluently as there are in other cultures that adopt certain dialects. There’s nothing wrong with being a polished version of yourself, but some people feel the need to change character when they enter the world of work. Who can keep up the act for more than 8 hours a day? Just be yourself.

7. Having a baby will keep you alive.

If a man doesn’t love you, he doesn’t love you. It’s as simple as that. Having a baby from a man who is irresponsible will only make him run further, and if he has any decency, he’ll be there for the child, not you. Grow.

8. It’s okay to be abused (verbally/physically) as long as you have a man.

I wouldn’t keep a snapping turtle for long if it bit me too many times, so why would a woman allow a man to physically or verbally hit her just to say she has someone in her life? I know it’s been said before but let me say it again, it’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t love you like you deserve. Love yourself enough to leave, and fast.

9. Education doesn’t matter as long as you look like a video girl.

It’s sad that I even had to list this, but while watching BET (yeah, I should have known better) I heard something that upset me. I heard a rapper admit to her fans that she believed that it didn’t matter what she said as long as she looked good. And she was fine with that. That? I hope the girls didn’t hear or believe that ridiculous statement. It’s wonderful to want to be physically attractive, but if you’re an airhead, none of that matters. Sure, you can get a modeling job if you’re beautiful, but you also have to know how to navigate the industry and once you pass a certain age, it’s all over for you. And? Our young women need positive role models who care as much about looking good as they do about feeding their brains. It is possible to do both.

10. I am not valuable.

You are a queen. Did you need to be reminded? You were born to be great. Read your history if you’re not convinced

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