As you move forward, enjoying the freedom that comes with watching your children grow up and leave the nest, you may find yourself in a new role… caretaker. More than four and a half million Americans have Alzheimer’s disease. Most of those affected are parents of baby boomers. Do you have any idea what you can do if you find yourself looking for a parent with dementia?
The first is the first
If you notice a parent behaving in a way that is out of character, take note. Everyone loses track of their thoughts or forgets where they have parked their car in a crowded parking lot. However, if they can’t remember what kind of car they were driving or they seem more irritable and confused than usual, perhaps they should see their doctor. There are several health problems that can make a person “not themselves.” A Dr. can rule out blood sugar fluctuations, depression, stress (although each of these may be present along with Alzheimer’s). A good checkup is the place to start. If the Dr. agrees that something is wrong, she will probably recommend a follow-up with a neurologist. It is essential that the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease are not dismissed.
After Diagnosis If your parent is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, you will need to educate yourself about the disease. Read read read. If you have access to a computer, go online and search for Alzheimer’s forums. Once in a forum, you’ll find yourself in the company of other boomers who are helping their loved one through the fog. Ask them what works and what doesn’t. Ask them about behaviors if things are escalating. The Alzheimer’s Association, your hospital’s local Department of Social Services, and online forums like Ask Dutchy will equip you with information and a sense of direction.
Can you do it alone? If you are going to be someone’s primary caregiver, you will need help. Without help, you will find yourself suffering from exhaustion, frayed nerves, isolation, and lack of sleep. Certainly, it is possible to care for someone with Alzheimer’s at home, but there will be times when you need a break. You will need time away from home to shop, do your banking, take a walk, be with friends, etc. As the disease takes more of your loved ones, they will depend on your independence for their safety, hygiene, feeding, grooming and protection. You will need to form a team.
Where do I find a team? Your team may include your parents’ friends and neighbors who can provide much-needed social contact. If you have siblings, ask them to join you for a family gathering. Do this before things turn into a crisis. Your team can include an adult day care center in your community where your loved one can enjoy activities while you enjoy your free time. Be creative when planning your team.
Know your limits If you are reaching a point where you feel lifeless, you may have reached your limit in caring for your loved one. Are you experiencing stress, insomnia, startle easily and find it hard to concentrate? These may be signs of caregiver burnout. If you can no longer keep up with the demand and the illness has escalated to the point where your loved one needs 24-hour care, it’s time to look for an alternative. Assisted living communities and nursing homes are possible alternatives. If you decide to find a placement for your parents, please do your homework. Learn everything there is to know about installation. Do not continue with blind faith.
Deborah Uetz Author of Into the Mist BS Education, Online Support Monitor, E-Zine Expert