They say that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I’m pretty sure no one who heard this felt better afterwards. With that said, let’s talk about rejection. If you’re in sales long enough, you’ll experience rejection.
Rejection can cause your heart to race, your palms to sweat, and your body to go into fight or flight mode. This is because the fear we experience today has the same effect on our bodies as the fear of being eaten so long ago. Humans traveled in tribes long ago to avoid being eaten by predators. Occasionally someone would be rejected by the tribe and left to fend for themselves. They didn’t last long.
So, you see, the fear of rejection is quite old and still very real in our minds, even if we no longer worry about being eaten alive.
rejection is personal
When we experience rejection, the emotions we feel can range from humiliation to anger. Either we get angry with ourselves or with the rejecter. Neither of these feelings is productive and leaves us grumpy, sometimes setting the tone for that day or more. Some of us take rejection seriously and believe that we are not good enough. These feelings can last a lifetime. I had a student experience rejection in fifth grade by a girl, and that fear traveled into adulthood and terrified him of the rejection that comes with selling. There is a way to conquer this fear if this sounds familiar.
Rejection is a form of one-sided communication.
When we communicate effectively, we share information. Rejection is a partial exchange, or at least that’s how the rejected feel. The seller asks and the buyer says no, sometimes in a not-so-subtle way. The way buyers decline an offer says a lot about the person as a whole. It’s not you; are they
Laugh about it; help with rejection
When we are rejected, our brain releases an opioid similar to what we have when we experience physical pain. We also experience this chemical release when we laugh. If we can find humor in the situation and allow ourselves to laugh; we get a double dose of feel-good endorphins, lessening the pain of being rejected.
It’s a numbers game
Recently, leaders in the sales training community questioned whether sales is a numbers game. Sales is definitely a numbers game, the more you don’t get, the better the chances of hearing a yes. You’ll also get better at the art of persuasion, learning what worked when you heard it did, and learning what’s truly valuable to your buyer. When you know what works, write it down. I train salespeople and tell them to keep a sales journal. A simple notebook that you leave in your car will work. If you don’t know what worked, how will you create a repeatable and sustainable path to success?
ask why
You’ve been rejected, and now you’re running for your life! This is the best time to ask why, you’ll learn a lot about your sales process, your buyers, and more. What do you have to lose? They already rejected you. The best part is that sometimes rejection is an automatic defense mechanism in the buyer’s mind. When you ask them why, they don’t even know why, which makes them think and talk to you, and sometimes they end up saying yes! I swear I’ve seen this happen more than once when a salesperson has the nerve to ask why.
What is your supporting question?
Have you ever thought about what to ask for that might be a minor commitment? Think of alternative options that the buyer might find valuable. When you offer options, this creates the opportunity to say no to this, but yes to that. Give it a try and see how many times you get a backup plan to succeed. Some examples of a great endorsement request are referrals, a less expensive option, or reviewing a decision to buy in the future. If you ask why the buyer refused, you’ll know which option is right for your alternate plan.
People are kinder than you think
Can people be stupid? Bet! However, most people are very friendly. If you’ve been rejected, you’ll find that the rejecter doesn’t like rejecting you any more than they like being rejected (it’s not you, that’s the question). While some people might use a class of fancy parrying, you’ll find the slingshots and parrying arrows aren’t as bad as your mind has imagined. The best part; Nothing will come out of the bush to eat you! I promise.