Low sexual desire can certainly put a damper on enjoying time together with a romantic partner. Some couples meet and feel intense desire and passion for a certain amount of time. But as the relationship progresses and the closeness intensifies, some people begin to lose that spark they had felt towards their partner. The person who does not feel desire often does not suffer as much as the person who yearns for contact and intimacy but continues to be rejected. Persistent rejection can erode the self-esteem of even the most self-assured and sexually secure person.

After repeated attempts to engage in intimate behavior (eg, fondling, kissing, genital contact), even the most arduous and patient lover will become quite frustrated. Some people will respond with anger. Others will simply turn off their own desires temporarily. Without a good amount of loving communication and a real effort on the part of the low desire partner to make changes, the person with normal or high desire may have a difficult time staying in the relationship. It is important that the person who desires intimacy do a great deal of self-reflection. This partner needs to determine how much of the current problem could be alleviated with a different approach, different words, and different behaviors on your part.

Sometimes, no matter what the partner says or does, the person with low desire cannot and does not want to go back. It is important that both people understand what is happening and try to figure out the cause and some possible solutions. For both men and women, low sexual desire can be due to physical, psychological, emotional and even mental problems or a combination of factors.

Physical factors that may be related to low or inhibited sexual desire (ISD)

  • Anemia: A low iron level, often as a result of blood loss during menstruation.
  • Chronic illness: diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, cancer, hyperprolactinemia (overactive pituitary gland), Lyme disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia
  • Hormonal imbalances: luteinizing hormone (LH), low testosterone levels
  • Prescription drug side effects: mood altering, tranquilizing, anti-anxiety
  • Drug and alcohol abuse
  • Indigestion
  • Circulatory and/or respiratory problems
  • Genital pain – before, during or after sexual intercourse
  • Body aches and pains: low back pain, neck pain, stomach pain, shoulder pain, knee pain, wrist pain

Sometimes it seems that there is no direct physical cause, but the couple seems to have lost their libido. The sexual drive or libidi is not lost; it still exists, but has somehow been closed. Unpredictable words, actions, attitudes, and situations can generate concern, disinterest, revulsion, and even disgust at the idea of ​​sexual contact. Some people can perform sexually during the early stages of a relationship, when everything is new and exciting, but lose interest as they get closer. Without counseling and a deep exploration of one’s psyche, it can be quite confusing and difficult to understand what is going on.

Psychological factors that may be related to low or inhibited sexual desire (ISD)

  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • insomnia
  • Interpersonal Relationship Problems
  • uncomfortable living conditions
  • unresolved childhood issues
  • post traumatic stress disorder
  • Aftermath of Sexual Abuse, Rape or Physical Abuse
  • Religious beliefs that portray the sexual act as evil or evil
  • Personal problems, fetishes, paraphilias
  • latent homosexuality

If you or your intimate partner are struggling with a low or inhibited sexual desire, don’t be discouraged. Seek help from a qualified sex therapist or couples counselor. Pursue discovery of why this is happening the same way you would pursue a business problem or a career change. Find out as much as you can about the problem. Work together as a couple. And accept and welcome outside professional help.