My cousin texted me today saying he’s on his way to his girlfriend’s town. He is about to ask his parents for his hand, as we call him. In the Philippines, there is still a tradition of asking the girl’s parents for permission to get married. In the northern part of the Philippines, it is known as “Pamamanhikan”. In the city where I come from, we call it “Pamalaye”.
It is a man’s way of showing his respect and his true intentions, as well as the couple’s manifestation of respect for their two families. It shows the value of Filipino for the family, like what is taught in school that the number 1 unit in society is the family. The bride’s family asks for guarantees that her daughter will be well cared for. The boy is usually accompanied by his own people and family. It is a way of saying that his son wants to marry the daughter of the other family involved.
In my cousin’s case, since his immediate family lives far away, our uncle is the one representing in his place. In this event, the man and his family would bring enough food and other goods for him and his family to participate. It is also at this event that the wedding arrangements are discussed, when the wedding date would be, the location of the ceremony and reception, the cost, the estimated number of guests and entourage, among other things related to the wedding. . This is usually the official reunion of both families. After such an event, the necessary arrangements would be made.
