One of the reasons we like the story of Cinderella is that despite her disadvantaged circumstances and mistreatment at the hands of her stepmother and stepsisters, she is ultimately able to attend the ball in fabulous style, hooks up with the prince and live happily. forever. She loves it when the underdog has a happy ending. With your stepson, there won’t be a fairy godmother coming to take away any hurt from her first family breaking up, or from your mistakes as a stepparent. Is it possible to treat her stepson unfairly and still be able to influence him positively?

If you really want to have an influential role in your stepson’s life, you need to start thinking of your wife’s son as your son. Talk to your future spouse before you say “I do” to make sure you’re both on board with that role. With that said, here are a few things to consider:

• The father and stepfather generally do not treat the children of the blended family equally.
• Many stepparents find it difficult to love their stepchildren.
• Remarried spouses often make their biological children a higher priority than their new spouse, which strains the marital relationship.
• Children of divorced parents are often resistant to connecting with their new family.
• A stepparent’s discipline often results in opposition and disrespect.

Also, if you have children of your own, it is imperative that you treat all the children in your family equally. Balance your time, resources, and energy between your own children and your stepchildren. Anything less than this will hurt your stepchild as well as your other stepchildren. Which can:

• Low self-esteem
• They have a hard time accepting and loving themselves.
• Let your feelings intensify as they grow.
• Having difficulty making friends and socializing.
• It gives them a sense of injustice in the world
• Learn to treat others as they are treated.
• Begins to treat others unfairly.
• Jealousy
• He becomes jealous of the favored child making a relationship virtually impossible.
• It also affects the favorite son.
• Anxiety and Insecurity
• You feel pressured to perform at a high level for fear of losing your favored status.
• Resentment
• Be skeptical about trusting the stepfather.
• Do not allow a link to be possible.
• Form a strong rivalry with the brother who is favored.
• Resent their own parents for putting them in the situation to begin with.

It’s not easy to treat your stepchildren like your own children, but you must. Failure to do so puts all of your relationships at risk. Children want care and security in their family; a blended family is no different in this respect.