Let me ask you a question. What if the weatherman says he’s going to snow tomorrow morning and when you wake up it’s sunny and dry? Isn’t your world upside down? It’s not, you say? So let me ask you one more question. Why, if information like this is not life-changing, do so many people make it the topic of discussion every time they open their mouths?
What is it about the weather that makes it the default for 97% of all communication with strangers in our society? Is that really the only thing we think we have in common? And what do elevators have that make us talk about time?
“Hello.”
“Hello.” Brrr, it’s cold out there!”
“It is. And I heard it’s supposed to snow all day.”
“Geez. Gotta love winter.”
“Yeah! 4 more months of this.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, have a good day”.
“You too. Stay warm.”
I honestly can’t remember having a conversation in an elevator that didn’t revolve around the weather forecast. It seems to be one of those things in our society that we cling to like a smelly old security blanket, full of holes. For some reason, we MUST know what the weather will be like at all times. Not only can we turn on our local news 7 times a day and see what’s happening with our weather, but we can also watch The Weather Channel and never miss a single forecast for the whole world! 24 hours a day, 7 days a week… all the time, all the time! Oh, for joy!
If that’s not bad enough, we love to make sure the weather is part of the negativity that we so embrace in our culture. Have you ever stopped to think that a “20% chance of rain” often means there is an 80% chance of sunshine? I have yet to hear a meteorologist put it that way.
Do you want to know the weather? Look outside! You know where you live… you know the season… you know the 2-3 chances of what the weather will bring on any given day. I’ve worked with enough meteorologists to know there’s a reason it’s called “forecasting” weather. Why do we feel the need to check the weather several times a day? There are times when you would like to plan something that depends on the weather… I get it. However, just establish a “plan B” and move on!
Well, what’s the point of all this?
Well, for one, we let things we can’t control take over our lives. Also, we let inconsequential things affect whether we are miserable or happy. The problem with that is that we often discount the positive things that would make us happy and boost the negative things that make us miserable thinking about them.
So how do we change this? Let me assure you, it’s as easy as flipping a switch!
Here are 5 surefire ways to go from negative to positive in 10 seconds:
1. Stop making your life so difficult when you don’t have to. If you are focusing on something you have no control over, stop and focus on what you have full control over. Then take action.
o An example of this might be worrying about the forecast for a snow storm in the morning during rush hour. Your thoughts go straight to “I have a meeting at 8:00 am! I’m going to be late! He’s going to ruin the whole day! Everyone will be miserable from the driveway!” Bla bla bla. Wait… let me dry my tears. You have no control over the weather or how other people may or may not react to it, right? However, if we focus on those things, we get very angry. Annoying = miserable. So, let’s “flip the switch.” What do you have full control over here? Can you check out half an hour earlier than usual? Can you pack your things for tonight’s meeting instead of trying to pack up in the morning when you’re already in a rush? Can you choose to listen to something funny on your way to work instead of the depressing and rarely insightful news? I SURE CAN! YOU are in full control of those things! Control = happy.
2. You will never change others. Stop trying! Shake your head if you have to and move on. Rarely are the things that surprise us truly shocking. We are who we are and we will never be who we are not. If you are having issues with someone else, have the integrity to be honest, be respectful, and agree to disagree.
3. You can always change yourself. Start taking inventory! If you have problems with a lot of people, you may want to consider looking in a mirror. Sometimes it certainly can feel like you are the only sane person in the room. However, when enough people give you funny looks when you give your 2 cents worth, you may need to figure out how you see yourself in the world. If you get stuck on this, see someone you can trust to be honest with you. It is said that sometimes the truth hurts. You need to decide if the truth hurts more or less than a negative appearance in the world.
4. Always ask yourself “could it be worse?” Chances are it could be MUCH worse! Every day you pass an accident on the side of the road, or hear a helicopter and look up to see Life Flight, or hear someone you know or care about receiving challenging news, like a death or a layoff or an illness. Life happens. Be in the moment. be thankful Be happy. It could always be so much worse.
5. Think about your plan B every time you commit to a Plan A. It just makes life so much easier if you were proactive enough to say “what if?” Even if you don’t do something about it, you’ll be more prepared if you’ve thought about it when something happens (that you can’t control) that thwarts your Plan A.
Becoming “happy” is possible for anyone. Getting rid of mental clutter and minutiae is an integral part of that. Here’s a challenge from The Identity Coach: try following your own weather instinct for a week. You may be surprised how often you are right. And how often are you less stressed about what “could” happen.
The conclusions here are simple: life happens. There are things you have no control over and there are things you have full control over, focus on those things you have full control over. Take a little time from looking at others to look at yourself. Be proactive sometimes instead of always reactive. Lastly, something I heard my grandmother Estelle say often, “this too shall pass.” Go find joy in your life!