This came up in a coaching session with a client earlier this week and it’s so important that I wanted to mention it here for my virtual community as well 🙂
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Have you ever been on a sales call for a long time knowing that you are crossing your own limits in time?
But do you convince yourself to do it because you really just want to help that person?
Perhaps to the point of being late for your next call or appointment?
As a result, you go into persuade mode and stay on the call or in the meeting too long.
These are all red flags that we want the outcome more for the potential customer than for himself.
We are giving, giving, giving and they are not reciprocal. There is always a story about why they can’t do something and always a bit of drama, if I’m honest. They are unwilling to make the switch and meet us halfway. It has to be at least 51% more for them.
Because even if these people say yes to each other and want to work with you, they usually don’t put in the effort. Once again we are left wishing for more for them and usually deep down we feel like we need to prove our worth and therefore our worth. It’s not a great feeling.
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I remember being on a sales call once where I missed it, so much so that I was 45 minutes late for a meeting.
I took the call from the car on the way to the meeting, and I wanted to work with the person I was talking to so badly that I was willing to let everything else go for it. Deep down I wanted her to see my worth and that I could really help her. The person I was meeting with was less pleased, and I think that was the last time we connected now that I’m thinking about it 🙁 How rude, right!
But how many times do we let our values slip for the sake of a sale? I don’t like being late (well, no more than 5 minutes, who am I kidding!) For meetings or calls, and integrity is one of my highest values. Doing what I say I am going to do. And if I have committed to a meeting or a phone call and do not show up at all, I am not being the best I can be who is of integrity.
What ends up happening then? I feel like a bad person.
This is ego trap at its finest.
I make a decision without power and then I feel bad. Exactly where the ego likes us to stay.
And it all comes down to self-esteem.
We are not valuing ourselves enough to stick to our limits. This is the belief deep down in our subconscious that runs the show and the lens through which we view life and therefore from which we make decisions. He speaks to us to make decisions from this place of not valuing ourselves. So we don’t honor ourselves and then we feel like a bad person.
It keeps us informed.
OBJECTIVE I have good news! As you value yourself more and more, this type of person stops showing up! I love that the universe reflects exactly what we need to work on, right? As we value ourselves, we respect our limits more and honestly set the stage for sales calls very differently to begin with.
Does this mean that we never give more?
No. But when we really value ourselves, we consciously decide instead.
Just start registering:
Are you giving because you really want to help that person, or because you are activating that little string of “not enough” deep down?
It’s a fine line but a big difference 🙂
If you’re stuck: the latter ends up generating resentment later. So, look back at past examples to see where a conversation that felt that way later led to resentment, or even led to a not-so-good customer experience that felt disempowering in some way. Then you can realize it the next time you feel the same way in a sales conversation.
It’s about those instincts, they never lie.
And know that you are valued and valuable, regardless of where you are on your business journey.
You’re already sucking enough now !!
That’s me yelling at the ego !! Do not give up. And know this too: it never completely goes away, as we all have an ego. We just become quicker to recognize it, knowing that it is not true and therefore we do not allow it to dictate our decisions 🙂