Conversations can be hard to start on your first date. People often get so nervous that they are afraid to say something silly, offensive, or are too busy thinking of something to say and end up in awkward moments of silence. The key to remember is: this person wouldn’t be sitting here meeting you for a date if they didn’t want to see you, talk to you, and get to know you! Any kind of conversation can lead to another, and another, and another; So all you need is a great icebreaker and you’re good to go!
It’s often very easy to have a few pre-planned questions in mind and start throwing them at your date one after the other. However, try and allow the conversation to flow naturally; try not to systematically ask for too much. Your date should be fun and lighthearted, not like an interrogation or job interview.
Rules
- Don’t make your date feel like you’re not there.
Look around and talk about the food, the place, but keep this to a minimum. You need to be present at the appointment, don’t give the impression that your mind is elsewhere or that you want to BE somewhere else!
- Don’t scare them by talking too long term.
A light conversation is best to start. The music and movies they like is always a big topic and they ask about your day or weekend. Don’t be too serious, but strike a balance. No one wants an immature date unable to carry on a decent conversation. However, getting bogged down in minor details about your job, aspirations, siblings, and lifestyle can be pretty heavy on a first date.
- Don’t lie to impress
this is where you do you have to think long term. Lying will only get you later, unless it’s a very small white lie that you can laugh at in the future. See what we recommend here.
- Don’t talk about controversial topics.
Unsurprisingly, talking about politics or religion is a bit of a no-go area on a first date. It can lead to disagreements, which in turn can lead to arguments, which could make you go home sooner than you think!
- Don’t talk about past relationships.
Talking about your ex will only plunge you into a big hole. Bringing up happy memories you had with your ex from the past will be the most ridiculous thing to do on a first date, and talking bad about them will make you sound bitter. In fact, either one of you will give them the impression that you are not over the relationship.
- Talk about your online profile
Everyone finds it easy to talk about themselves, so bring up a few points you’ve read about in your profile. This will show that you are very interested and attentive, as well as give the conversation a good boost.
- compliment them
A couple of compliments here and there never hurt anyone. If you really think your date looks attractive, tell him so. It will make them feel good and that it will be worth all the effort they have put in. Be careful not to be too flattering though, as it can come across as fake, and don’t get sleazy either, but a compliment or two can be very charming and add a touch of flirty demeanor.
- Talk if you have no idea what they are talking about
It’s better to laugh about it and say if you’re not sure, rather than let them continue and find yourself unable to answer any questions they may have regarding what they’ve said. You won’t look stupid if you’re just being honest!
- listens
Listening to the other person is just as important as talking to them. Try not to interrupt them as it will come off as rude and abrupt rather than nervous.
- laugh and tell jokes
As mentioned, it’s always good to keep things light-hearted and fun. Don’t be ashamed to laugh or tell jokes; of course, avoid those that may offend you! You never know they might fall for your smile!
The topics you can bring up can range from movies to family to music to your job industry. It all depends on the time and location. You can’t just randomly start talking about the zoo when you walk into a bar. Unless, of course, the bar you’re going to is full of animals! But remember, if spontaneity and randomness are for you, and they’ve been highlighted on your profile, then don’t be too shy to show it off! Whatever the circumstance, just be YOU.
Here is an interesting quote to leave you:
“A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue.“
truman cape
Leaving all the talking to your date will be boring for them and exhausting for you to keep nodding, so just relax and let the conversation flow!