After more than 25 years of empirical research involving relationship, spirituality, personality, and compatibility assessments, matching and observing thousands of love relationships as a matchmaker, and writing a book on soul mates, we have come to realize that there are many expectations and myths of love life. that repeatedly trip up even the most intelligent and successful people.

Consider the points below to get the most out of your love life, whether you’re single or involved.

1) “The love of my life.” You don’t know who the love of your life is until the last day of your life.

2) Just a soul mate? The myth that everyone has only one soulmate, if you believe in the concept of soulmates, causes a lot of problems. Metaphysical research has shown that everyone has many soul mates. Of course, some are much more compatible than others, and it’s not always obvious at first.

3) “You are my only one.” This idea may work temporarily, but it can be unnatural, and considering the high cheat rates, most people can’t live with it permanently.

4) “You are my everything.” This is the ideal, and certainly a good thought, but how many can live up to such high standards? Frankly, it’s often unrealistic and unfair to expect one person to meet all of your needs for the rest of your life.

5) “Together forever.” It’s okay to expect a relationship to last “forever.” Unfortunately, most don’t. Our findings indicate that all relationships have intended start and end times. If you think about it, there really isn’t much point in expecting a relationship to last between the ages of 25 and 85, as everyone is always evolving, changing, improving, and sometimes regressing at different rates.

Are you the same person you were 20 years ago? Probably not. Do you expect your best friend from sixth grade to be your best friend when you’re 80? It can happen, but it’s rare. Do you expect to have your first job for the rest of your life? No. Of course, many couples can and are meant to “grow old” together, but for others, it just isn’t meant to be long term. Resisting this will only cause more distress and stress.

6) “The relationship failed if it didn’t last a lifetime.” As mentioned above, our findings show that all relationships have destined beginnings and endings. Some are meant to be short-term (even if the couple chooses to stay together as, essentially, roommates), and some are meant to be long-term. Whether or not he learned what he was meant to do from the experience, not how many years they were together, is of the utmost importance.

7) “My soulmate or twin flame.” Supposedly, if you find the “other half” of your soul, if you believe in this concept, you will experience a love relationship of the highest level. This sounds good, but common sense, along with our findings, clearly point to the idea that the theory is complete myth. One of the problems with this belief is that it can cause people to have incredibly high expectations of partners that no one else could meet. It is always better to accept each partner and relationship as they should be, instead of what you want them to be.

8) “My other half.” Two half people create a dysfunctional mess. A better approach is to accept that you are already a whole person. If you don’t already feel like you are, realizing why, perhaps through therapy, and bringing out the best in yourself will eventually allow you to be happy and single and experience a more compatible relationship.

Copyright © 2009 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo