Have you ever been in a gathering, either with friends of the same age or above, in a class or even a church gathering where the topic of discussion was about sex? I mean go into detail.

That topic used to scare me! Sometimes I get scared of laughing. It was something I just didn’t know why I never wanted to talk about. Maybe because he was a shy person?

But along the way, I’ve grown comfortable talking about it and more open to listening to it no matter how it might sound to my ears.

I was open to learn. For some of you, this is a small matter. I have friends who are very comfortable with the subject of sex. So today I’m talking about sex.

People enter into relationships with the opposite sex for different reasons, for some it may be for pleasure, for fun, for security, for status, or even to kill loneliness, to fill a void, or for money, and many other reasons.

You had your reasons why you chose to be in a relationship. But in an average relationship, there’s one main reason people get into a relationship: sex. How do I know this? You can ask.

The first agreement that both parties seem to reach is “no sex until marriage.” No sex until marriage is an abstinence plan in a relationship but it is also a way to checkmate our intention to start a relationship.

I’ve seen relationships that started on this note, but along the line, the guy or the lady start requesting sex.

A friend told me that the guy she was in a relationship with couldn’t control himself and started asking for sex even after making it clear from the beginning, just because they’ve been together for a year. she thinks they’ve been together too long for there to be sex.

This one, my friend, got tired of his disturbance and decided to leave the relationship. I know some of you can relate to this.

Another guy was sharing with me how his baby almost made him give in to his sexual desire. According to him, the lady said that she was menstruating and that if they had sex now, nothing would happen (and that day nothing happened, the guy refused).

This issue of sex in relationships affects both men and women. It is not peculiar to man or woman. But I think the man is wanting more in this matter. In no way am I saying that the woman does not go crazy with the subject of sex, she does it.

I also think it will be a challenge to find women who haven’t had sex who are in the mood for this one, for reasons they know when they decide to stick with it.

Women also respond to this impulse (after all, it was God who put it there) and sometimes want to take the lead in sex.

Look at the case of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife” and after a while his master’s wife noticed Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me” (Genesis 39:7). It is never foolish for a woman to solicit sex or burning with the urge of sex.

Ladies, don’t look weird! God created you with that body and put everything in you so that there could be sex, but that was only within the confines of marriage.

There is a question that has been on my mind for a while now, and I would also like to hear your thoughts on it.

Is there any chance that a young man who has more than one relationship with the opposite sex will also have several lovers even in marriage? Do you see the possibilities? If she does, why? To what would you attribute the reason for such a lifestyle? What could they be looking for?

I remember when we were kids, we used to argue with each other as friends that our mother’s food was the best, it tasted better than your mother’s food. How did we come to that conclusion? They told us never to eat out! So, we got used to food from one person – mom.

You see, God created sex to be enjoyed in the confinement of marriage and it is in this union that God recognizes sex as marriage. Just like children growing up, we viewed our mother’s food as the best, so too, should it be for every first-timer who should have sex in the confinement of marriage.

The husband sees having sex with his wife as the best and the wife enjoying sex with her husband as the best, there is no room for comparison. There is no place for the man to compare his wife to other women because he has not slept with any and the same goes for the wife!

But for the young man, who has started the journey of exploring different women and having different experiences from all of them, it can be difficult for him to be faithful to one woman.

If you keep a close eye on your life, you will know in which direction certain habits are leading you.

The issue is not impulse or desire as I said before, God put it there for us, but the issue is that we don’t know how to exercise self-control, an uncontrollable desire for sex. Just as the Apostle Paul said, you must control your body (see 1 Corinthians 9:27).

You must bring that habit before God and ask him to help you deal with it so that you can save your life from destruction. Sexual temptation remains one of the devil’s greatest weapons in his arsenal to destroy many marriages.

In this battle, I have seen the mighty fall (see 2 Samuel 1:25). Take the head for yourself. The best thing you can do to save your life is to do what we were advised to “flee from fornication” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

I pray that God will open our eyes to see the seriousness of this matter.