I’ve heard all kinds of excuses husbands make for having an affair. Sometimes even the husband knows that the excuse is pretty silly. He says it just to have something to say. (And saying anything can feel better than staying silent.) But one of the dumbest excuses out there (at least in my opinion) is the argument that men just aren’t built or intended to be monogamous. Interestingly, many men only come up with this theory after being caught cheating. Many never expressed a concern about this when they were dating or considering getting married.

However, when confronted about cheating or having an affair, this is the excuse some men will give you. A wife might say, “This is the second time I caught my husband cheating on me. When I first caught him, he swore he would never cheat on me again and I believed him. He went on and begged me. So I was taken by surprise when he did it again.” The second time, he wasn’t so sorry. In fact, he was a bit defensive and this time, he tried to defend himself. He said that if you really think about “Objectively, you’ll have to admit that men and human beings as a species don’t they are meant to be monogamous. He says that if you look at the mammals in the world, very few mate with just one person for life. My husband maintains that humans are animals at heart and very few animals are monogamous. He says that asking a man to be monogamous is asking him to go against his very nature. He says it’s unrealistic to ask a man to go through his entire life of 70+ years of life expectancy and be faithful to just one person. Is right?

Well, if I had to answer this question, it would be just my opinion. I think if you were to ask ten different people this question, you might get ten different answers. But I also think you need to answer the question as it relates to you and your marriage. No one else’s opinion should matter. What matters is what you think and whether or not monogamy is important to you in terms of your marriage.

I personally believe that because we humans have different family involvement plus free will, we cannot be compared to other mammals. For other species, the father is not always involved in raising the children. Few other species stay together as part of a family unit the way humans do. For this reason, I personally believe that it is important that the heads of that family (the father and the mother or both parents) be faithful. That is just my personal opinion. That’s just what I want for my own marriage and my own family.

Your husband has presented his theory and belief to you and now it is up to you to agree, debate or reject that theory. Also, you could see if counseling or self-employment could help you change your mind in the future. Sometimes when people don’t understand their behaviors and motivations, they will simply try to find fault with their own “nature.” But this is what happens with human beings. Unlike other mammals, we have free will. We have the brain capacity to think about decisions before making them. We do not act simply on impulse. We have the ability to listen to reason and allow ourselves to be influenced by our conscience.

I don’t think you should make a decision right away, unless you just want to. Surely she can make it clear to her husband that she does not agree with her theory or her purchase.