Sometimes I hear from wives who feel like they are about to get their husband to come home. But he’s giving them sort of a lame reason why he’s skeptical or reluctant to do it. Sometimes their husbands will tell them that they are too guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed to come home. And there are times when they’re just fishing for these excuses to see if you offer them forgiveness, tell them they have nothing to be ashamed of, or beg them to come home anyway.
I heard from a wife who said: “My husband left me and the children without notice. He was out of contact and I had no idea where he was or why he left. I was extremely worried and called all his family and friends, but no one gave me any information about two weeks ago he called me to say he was ok and just had to do some thinking on his own honestly I was so relieved he was ok and I sure didn’t act so mad at him. So I guess he thought it was safe to start calling me, which he did. Now that I find out, he’s been out at a friend’s house the whole time. Now that I… I’ve learned the truth, I’m a little angry and I can’t help but show it when we talk. The other day, he told me he missed me, but then he said he was too embarrassed and embarrassed to come home. He says he’s going to have a hard time looking kids in the eye. Frankly, I think you have valid reasons for s feel guilty and ashamed. What kind of men just leave their wife and children without you? no warning? Still, I want him to come home anyway. It’s bad enough that he’s gone. But the worst thing would be if he didn’t come back and continue with his mistake. How do I make him realize all this and go ahead and come home? I will discuss more about this matter in the following article.
Even though he may be trying to make you say that he has nothing to be ashamed or ashamed of, don’t be too quick to offer this reassurance: Many men will play the “I’m so embarrassed and embarrassed” card because they are trying to shift the balance of power. They want to go home. But they also don’t want to have to deal with you feeling like a second-class citizen in the marriage, especially in the long run.
And, while you may just want him to come home and worry about who’s at fault later, you should think about whether you’re willing to give him a free pass. Because if you just gloss over why he just got up and left you and your kids without an announcement or warning, then what do you mean the same issues, resentments and problems won’t crop up again? And when they do, what’s to stop him from leaving again?
I really don’t want to bring you down. I understand that right now you just want to think about taking him home. But I know firsthand that only having a short-term plan can sometimes thwart your long-term efforts. And I think there are commitments that can take him home and hold him accountable for his decisions. If you play it right, you can address the issues that led to him leaving in the first place, which brings me to my next point.
How to approach it when your husband says he is too embarrassed, guilty, or embarrassed to come home: My suggestion would be this. The next time you bring up your guilt, shame, or embarrassment, you could say something like, “I can understand why you feel that way. Leaving your family without any warning or explanation is not an admirable thing to do, and we’re going to have to rebuild a bit.” as a result of that. Your behavior was not good. But it also doesn’t mean I just want to give up on our marriage. Your departure does not mean that I still do not love you and that I do not want to get married. for you. We can explore what contributed to your departure and hopefully we can remove those things so that we are both happy and satisfied enough that neither of us has to leave in the future. This is a very difficult time for our family. But there’s no point in continuing the hardship and pain when you could come home and we could begin to rehabilitate our marriage and heal. You are embarrassed and embarrassed and I am shocked and hurt, but if we put our feelings aside and focus on our family and our marriage, I feel like and we can get through this. Will you work with me to make that happen?”
Do you see the point of this conversation? You are not excusing his behavior. In fact, he is telling you that he has reason to be ashamed and embarrassed. However, he is making it clear that he wants her to come home anyway because his family and rehabilitation are his focus right now. You’re asking for his cooperation, but you’re not making an excuse so that when he comes home, you don’t have to back down or avoid talking about why he left.
