Optimists do better academically, socially, and enjoy better health than pessimists.

Helping your child see the positive side is an important life skill to develop. When children think they can be successful, they are more likely to try things. In other words, if they think they CAN, they WILL.

Optimists look at the other side of negative events for something good, some hope, and some reason to be positive. It means having strong self-confidence and confidence to deal with situations.

Experts in the field of optimism agree that there are five basic components of optimism:

1. Test and persist

2. Skill Practice

3. Accepting success and failure

4. Planning for the future

5. Have the faith and confidence to try again

Importantly, these building blocks link optimism with competence, so when children experience success, they are more likely to believe that they can achieve and be more successful.

Some children are optimistic by nature. They are born with optimistic temperaments and have natural dispositions to face challenges and problems. Others expect the worst and tend to see catastrophes where there are really little challenges.

Recent US research indicates that children learn their optimism from their experiences of success and through their interactions with parents, teachers, and significant others in the first eight years of life.

So the way adults talk is significant in how they shape a child’s belief about success or failure. The message is clear: adults need to be aware of how they present the world to children, since our explanatory style (the way we explain events) is on full display.

Optimists explain adverse events in the following ways:

1. Adverse events tend to be temporary: “It takes time to find a friend” rather than “Nobody likes me.”

2. The situations or causes are specific: “I’m not that good at soccer” instead of “I have no hope in the sport.”

3. Guilt is rationalized instead of personalized: “I got grounded because I hurt my sister” instead of “I got grounded because I’m a bad kid.”

Pessimists tend to build mountains out of a grain of sand and give up before trying. The problem with pessimism is that it tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. “I told you I wouldn’t get kicked in the game. What was the point of me showing up?” Such comments only reinforce pessimism and these feelings of hopelessness lead to helplessness.

To promote optimism in your children, try the following four strategies:

1. Model positive thinking and optimism. Let your children listen to your positive self-talk.

2. Challenge your children’s negative or unrealistic assessments. For example, “Everybody hates me. I don’t have any friends” can be challenged with “Sometimes it seems like we don’t have any friends, but you spent all morning with Melanie yesterday.”

3. Teach your child to follow through positively. Children should look for the good things they do and say them to themselves or out loud. They can look for the good things that happen in life, however small, and say them to themselves or out loud.

4. Teach children to reframe positively. When something unpleasant happens or a failure occurs, they can actively look on the bright side. For example, “I did a jump on my bike, but at least I came out unscathed” or “That activity didn’t work out, but I know what to do next time.”

The beauty of developing optimism is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which makes it a powerful success strategy.