It’s common for women to wonder why they haven’t gotten an engagement or an engagement or promise ring from time to time and worry that their boyfriend doesn’t think they’re the right girl to marry or that they’re not “marriage material.” “. .”
A woman once told me, “I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. I’ve only been with his family a handful of times. Granted, they live relatively far away, but he’s never really gone out of his way for me to get to know them. He doesn’t seem to care much if they know me or if they like me. He’s from a very conservative background and he’s a stand up guy. My parents are divorced and my mom is a waitress. I settled down professionally and go from job to job. He has a masters and i took two classes at a community college sometimes i feel like he thinks i’m a good time but doesn’t want to go any further they are exclusive and he seems to really care about me and my feelings but never mentions the future “I’m worried that he doesn’t think I’m marriage material. He hasn’t mentioned any kind of commitment or future. How can I tell if he thinks I’m the kind of girl he wants to marry? And if that’s really how it is?” feel I will try to address these concerns in the s next item.
Has he said or done something that triggers your fears? Or are your fears and projections yours?: It is not uncommon for us to project our own fears and doubts onto those we love and most want to impress. I couldn’t help but notice that when this woman described herself, her eyes were lowered. Her shoulders were slumped. Her feelings clearly radiated from within her. That’s not to say that her boyfriend didn’t have her own perceptions or doubts. But I suspected that part of what was projected from her was coming from her. And sometimes our own thoughts and feelings cloud your beliefs about what others think of you.
She admitted that the boyfriend had not commented on her, her professional achievements or her family. But, her lack of really moving forward had him worried. And he couldn’t think of any other reason for her slow pace. Her own mother had made comments like “guys like that don’t get along with women like us” and this had put doubts and worries in her head that clouded her interactions with her boyfriend.
If I didn’t think you were potentially marriage material, would I still be with you?: A year and a half was a long time to hang out with someone because it was “fun.” The boyfriend had to be getting a positive payoff from the relationship and he must have seen some future in it to continue for over a year and a half. She described the relationship as mostly happy, except when it came to talking about the future. And frankly, the future might have been more worrying for her than for him.
How do you handle these concerns when you love him and want to move on?: You focus on moving on instead of worrying about how a man who has been with you for a year and a half classifies you. And you work to rank yourself in a much higher category.
People take their cues from you. It is very important that you project self-esteem and confidence. If you believe that you are worthy, that you are meant to be together, and that you are the right person for him, he is much more likely to believe that himself. But if you walk around and always have a questioning look on your face and you approach him in an almost apologetic way because you’re worried someone will think you’re not good enough, then you increase the chances of this coming true.
Work very hard to strengthen yourself and project genuine confidence. And focus more on strengthening your relationship than trying to classify it. If you keep making progress, stay happy, and just expand your bond and intimacy, commitment is likely to come. And it will probably come faster if you approach him with confidence and knowing that he is very lucky to have you and you are very lucky to have him. Don’t apologize for your background and who you are. It is you he loves. Neither your job nor your education. Or your family.
As for the ring or the commitment, it is fine and it is even understandable to want it. But you don’t want to push him for it. Instead, you want to set up the relationship to progress to where he willingly and lovingly wants to give it to you. And this is really the key. To set things up so that he wants to commit on his behalf.