I often hear from wives who want my advice on how to heal after their husband cheated on them. However, from time to time, I hear of lovers or women cheating on another woman’s husband. These women often want my opinion or advice about the husband and want to know how to keep him involved in the affair. (I don’t offer this advice, of course.) But, a question I get quite frequently is something like, “Why do men go back to their wives after an affair? I know I made him happy and I know he likes it better.” be with me than with her. So why did he go back to his wife when we were so happy together? I have theories about why husbands eventually come to their senses and come home. I’ll share them with you in the next article.
Men often return to their wives after an affair because they realize they have been foolishly living in a fantasy land: It’s not uncommon for men to tell me that one day they wake up and suddenly realize how stupid and selfish it is to cheat on their wife. They often realize that there is really nowhere for adventure to go. One day, they realize that this was all a huge mistake, that they really love their wives, and that they were trying to fix the problems in their life (which often had nothing to do with their wife) the wrong way. .
This will often bring about a feeling of desperation and urgency, where they will want to fix this problem and clean up this mess right away. Therefore, they often abruptly break up with the lover, who is left confused as to what she did wrong. The truth is that she may or may not have done something wrong. But frankly, it is more likely that the man realized that the relationship was very wrong and that there was no good reason to continue with something that is based on fantasy, deception and an unhealthy foundation.
Men often go back to their wives because they realize that the affair is not going to solve their problems: Another thing I often see is men having an affair to fix themselves, or their low self-esteem, or their inability to feel powerful, but they eventually realize that the affair was just a quick but temporary fix. Somewhere along the way, they wake up and realize that they are not really better off and that the same doubts and insecurities that plague them are still there. Sure, the affair may have been a distraction for a while. But eventually, one day they look in the mirror and realize that, not only are they still getting old, insecure, or stressed, they are now also deceitful, dishonest, and acting shamefully. In this way, the matter has only made things worse for them and they want things to return to “normal”.
Men go back to their wives after cheating because they love their wives (and never loved the woman they were cheating with): I often have lovers tell me things like, “I know he loved me. I know he adored me in a way I could never adore her. I get it. She doesn’t. I know a divorce would be expensive and he doesn’t.” she wants to give up her children. But she will one day come to her senses and she will realize that he doesn’t love her the way she loves me.” I often have to bite my tongue not to say “good luck with that way of thinking” .
This is what these women do not understand. He is not likely to love you as he loves his wife. She has often been with him through thick and thin. She likely shares a long history with him and a family with him. In short, this woman has put her time into it. You haven’t even started doing it. Yes, you may have felt that you had a connection and a deep spiritual understanding with each other. However, this is likely because he hasn’t been challenged yet. Everything is light and sweet and no one has to deal with sick children, dirty clothes or a broken down car.
Love is a word that is used very loosely and this is unfortunate. But real, deep love builds itself over time and often doesn’t come from a dishonest situation where you’re betraying and lying to someone you supposedly love. The lover often hopes and hopes that a healthy and mutually satisfying relationship will emerge from an unhealthy situation and negative emotions. So, you already have that against you.
On the one hand, this can make everything exciting at first. But on the other hand, when the smoke clears, this will bring shame and disgust, and a desire to end it all and return to what is honest and real. This is his wife and his family. This may well seem unfair to him, but hopefully, he knew this risk existed when he started this relationship.
Do not misunderstand. I don’t want either party in any relationship to get hurt or injured. But, if you are the lover reading this article, you should know that, in my opinion, you are better off with a man who is free to commit to you and who is not ashamed to be honest about your relationship. A healthy and loving relationship is not based on deception and does not need to hide.
