(WARNING: Reader discretion advised. Strong offensive language inappropriate in this article. Read at your own risk.)
It’s okay, you’re having a good time, meeting lots of girls, having fun, your energy is pumped, your status is so high you never feel more alive… and then all of a sudden a jerk shows up. and he calls you “stupid”, “loser”, “pathetic”, etc.
Your heart skips a beat, your body starts to boil, your ear tingles “Oh no, he didn’t just call me that!” Your first response is that you are ready to knock this guy out. …or you’re trying to think of a quick and clever response to hit him back, so just stand there quietly until it’s too late.
If you’ve ever seen a fight on a night out, it would usually go something like this:
A person would say “Fuck you!”. The other person would then say “Fuck you motherfucker, I’m going to fuck you!” back, and the other person would say “Fuck you!” again. This endless “Fuck you altercation” gets really childish and pathetic and even funny over time.
It’s like “Fuck you!” it’s the only smart thing they can think of to attack the other person. That’s all they can say. Very non-intellectual verbal sparring jujitsu, in fact, if you ask me.
I’ve been getting questions about how to handle the insults and abusive verbal attacks that can happen every time you go out, because this game can be brutal when it comes to trying to get the same girl that other guys have the same interest in, but do not be afraid. I will give you some deadly tactics to handle these situations.
I’ll be honest with you… I was bullied a lot when I was younger, and I thought about this for a long time and developed ways to counter this in simple social structures to use over and over again.
What I am going to show you really works and is extremely effective against these types of people who mess with you, but I warn you not to use them for evil.
Therefore, I would like to dedicate today’s lesson exclusively to the training of the “Art of Jujitsu of Conversational Combat”.
Put on your Jujitsu uniform and get ready to earn an instant black belt today!
I am going to share with you some powerful social structures to use in regards to Conversational Jujitsu when someone verbally attacks you.
Most people would tell you to just ignore it, like it’s no big deal, and that’s what they told you in grade school, and that’s fine; however, that does not stop the attacker from continuing to attack at a later time.
You can ignore them, but I challenge you to a social experiment, besides, would you rather feel a little more fulfilled if you could have fun with it and stretch your creative muscle?
If anything, go with the flow and never get defensive or succumb to its framework.
The framework you want to come from is: “How can I make the attacker look pathetic because of his action?”
When you’re out there, there are going to be people who will mess with you, and you have to know and be prepared to stand up for yourself and reverse their own attack on them so that they are the jerks of their own aggression.
A mirror attack, as in Aikido, the form of martial arts in which you redirect your opponent’s energy attack back at him. Reverse and reflect damage back on them so you’re not an overly aggressive, testosterone-fueled perpetrator.
Because?
Have you ever noticed how in a fight, whoever the one (Person A) is getting hit by the other (Person B) is always seen as the victim and your natural instinct is to just step in to help that Person A who is getting hit. is she being hit? by Person B, although it probably never occurred to him that Person A might be the one to hurt Person B first, but it’s just that Person B is better at physical confrontations, and Person A is playing the “deal card.” the victim” to draw sympathy to crush Person B.
I know it’s an unfair fight.
This happens a lot, especially with girls.
A guy hits a girl, and then all hell breaks loose for that guy when everyone else jumps in and hits the guy who hit that girl, even though she could have done something to him first.
You are playing the victim card.
That’s why we want to divert the damage caused by the other person to make them the fool they were meant to make you out to be; and you’re not playing the victim card either.
The key is to focus on them and what they are doing says about them, NOT what they are actually saying.
Example:
“What about messy hair? You need a haircut.”
Someone seems jealous.
To be honest, I don’t like doing this because I’d rather make friends with the guy and possibly add him to my social circle, but there comes a time when you have to let diplomacy walk out the door.
So here are the things you can do. Always remember to accompany them with a smile.
Some of my default simple blunt responses would be “Great”, “I know”, “That’s awesome”.
And now the social structures that you can use over and over again to guide your responses are:
– The counterattack of the question
Counterattack with a question. Answer everything they say with a question.
Example:
Attacker: You stupid idiot!
You: Are you impressed? Are you looking to become one too? Are you asking for advice on being a stupid idiot too? What about the attitude, your girlfriend broke up with you?
– The expert counter attack
This technically makes them look like some big, pedantic know-it-all.
The formula for this social structure is that you’d start with, “Yeah, and you’d know because…” and whatever they’ve come at you with, use it against them.
Example:
Attacker: You stupid idiot!
You: Yeah, and you would know that because you’re the bullshit expert.
You: Yeah, and you’d know it because you’re the BIGGEST jerk in the room.
Attacker: You’re a fagot!
You: Yeah, and you would know it because you have the biggest vagina hole of all.
– The counterattack of sarcasm
Agree and exaggerate to the ridiculous extreme in a tone of sarcastic approach.
This is the one you can have the most fun with because you just go with the flow and agree with the other person, but you exaggerate so much to the point that it becomes hard to take anything the interaction is less than a joke.
Example:
Attacker: You stupid idiot!
You: Absolutely my good man! I’m the biggest stupid idiot of all, I cry about it all the time and I have to see a therapist 3 times a day, every day, every year, I’m broke, homeless, nobody loves me, everyone hates me and never He talks to me except you. You are my new best friend from the good old friend old friend.
– The clueless counterattack
Silent, Do Not Register, Obsolete Face, Blink… Hmmm?
This one requires the least amount of effort to execute. For those of you who like to stay non-reactive, this is probably your favorite but with a little added flavor.
You’re just giving them a continuous “Hmmm?” blunt, with a stale face blinking as if what that person said didn’t register. It needs to be a bit obvious that they know you understand what they’re saying, but not bulky, like you’re playing with them.
By doing this over and over again, and constantly making them repeat themselves to agitate them, they would usually give up, if not use the other counterattacks.
Example:
Attacker: You stupid idiot!
You: hmm? (stale face, blinking eyes)
Attacker: You stupid idiot!
You: hmm? (stale face, blinking eyes)
Attacker: I said you’re a stupid fucking idiot! (increasingly agitated)
You: hmm? (stale face, blinking eyes)
Attacker: Are you deaf?
You: hmm? (stale face, blinking eyes)
– The presumptive counterattack
Make an absurd assumption about the attacker that makes him look like a jerk for what he’s saying or in your favor.
Example:
Attacker: You stupid idiot!
You: Oh, so you have to work late.
Now, isn’t it much better to learn these social structures for these counterattacks than to memorize 50,000 clever lines of response that you’d probably forget?
But Gabriel, what if someone says “Fuck you!”?
Hot Girl: Fuck you!
Me: You want. (Presumptive Counterattack)
Asshole: Fuck you!
Me: Sorry, I don’t like guys. (Presumptive Counterattack)
(Also notice here, how I redirect what the girl said to make it look like she wants to have sex with me, but that’ll be a downgrade for another time.)
Always focus on the other person, on the “you”, not on the “me”. This way you put the focus back on themselves and they will be forced to justify and defend themselves, so you have put them right where you want them to be.
Finally, here’s an example of a full interaction with all these counters applied, which happened to me one night when I was talking to a girl when this attacker approached me:
Attacker: Ewww…
Me: Awww, poor baby boo needs his mommy to clean up his “ewww” mess? (He asks Counterattack that makes him look pathetic)
Attacker: What about the jersey?
Me: hmm? (Clueless Counterattack)
Attacker: I said what’s with the stupid shirt!
I like you. Do you want to have it? (Counter Question) It will look so much better on you. (Presumptive Counterattack)
Attacker: I’m not gay like you!
Me: Yeah, and you would know…that would make you the biggest fag in the room then. (Skilled counterattack that turns him into the gay one instead)
Attacker: Fuck you! (finally losing control)
Me: Sorry, I don’t like guys (Presumptive Counter)
Notice how the more he continued to attack, the more he continued to shoot himself in the foot and became a victim of his own aggressive attacks. He wasn’t necessarily attacking him. She was reflecting the attacks back at him.
In general, let the attacker be/create/cause his own death, through no fault of your own.
So now you have some powerful social structures to deflect any verbal confrontation, so please drop the silly and unoriginal “Fuck you!” fighting… you may have children listening.
These are my secret weapons, use them wisely.
Now that you’re verbally armed, that’s it for today’s lesson.
And remember… don’t intentionally go out and pick fights.