Every woman has some complaint about her marriage. It is virtually impossible to find a wife who will tell you that everything her husband does for her or everything he says about her makes her happy. Marriage is certainly about learning to balance the good with the bad. It is by far the most complex and intricate dynamic most of us will ever be involved with. We all strive to make the relationship as satisfying and balanced as possible. We entered it with the intention of making it work forever. Of course, forever is a long time and there are likely to be a few storms to weather in the mix of life’s pleasures. One such storm cuts straight to a man’s ego. Hearing your wife criticize you can go straight to the heart. If she says that she is bored with you, she will not only make you feel the bitter sting of her biting words, but you will also taste her humiliation.

How are you supposed to respond when your wife tells you that you’re boring? You are a man who works hard for his family, right? You go to work every day to do the best job you can, come home to spend time with your wife and kids, and then go to bed so you can do it all over again. Maybe you allow yourself the luxury of a family vacation a week or two a year and maybe you bring your wife a dozen roses when your wedding anniversary rolls around. You sound like a great guy and you are. The problem is that your wife doesn’t think so anymore.

Your wife has gotten bored with the relationship and the fact that she told you is actually a good sign. She doesn’t feel that way given how much it hurts to know that she sees you in such an unflattering way. She maybe she said it during an argument to hurt your feelings or maybe it was more of a reflex when she walked in and she saw you sitting in front of the TV once again lost in the game of the week. In any case, it is obvious that you are not going to remedy this problem by doing what you do every day. Your wife craves excitement and you are the man to give it to her.

Spontaneity is what your wife needs and there are a few ways you can give it to her. Start by planning something completely out of the ordinary for the two of you to do together. Maybe you’ll take her on a nature walk in a park that she’s said she wants to visit for years. Or maybe she’ll keep it closer to home when she surprises you with a dinner cooked just for you. Your goal should be to do things out of the ordinary that you know will bring a smile back.

If you’re the type of guy who likes to take things to the extreme, then you’ll want to do something that will totally blow her mind. There are a couple of ideas that fit into this bill. One is to plan a quiet, intimate second wedding at his home for just your wife, you, and your kids. Tell her the morning of the big event that you want her to put on her prettiest dress and be ready by a certain time. Then get yourself a beautiful bouquet, some champagne and put on a suit. She will be overwhelmed by this and she will probably never say that you are boring again.

The other idea, which is just as fun, is to plan a whole weekend for the two of you. Take care of everything from arranging childcare to booking airline tickets and a hotel. Again, you’re not going to give him much notice. You want to give her enough time to pack up and say goodbye to the kids before heading her out the door on your weekend adventure for two.

You don’t have to transform into something you’re not to show your wife that you’re far from boring. However, it’s wonderful to keep her on her toes by taking control of her time together from time to time and planning outings that will show her that she really can’t predict what you have up your sleeve.