Making friends can be hard to do. This is especially true for the wide range of people who suffer from social anxiety symptoms that can range from facial flushing to a constant battle with the thoughts in their own mind. For many, insecurity or preconceived notions about what others think hinders their ability to make lasting friendships in life. Unfortunately, comfortable and supportive relationships can be the building blocks of a life well lived. If you are having trouble making or keeping friends, CBT therapy from a trained professional may be able to help.
When you meet someone new, there is the first impression. For you, your first impression may also include many accepted belief patterns and thoughts about how you think other people think. Unfortunately, it is impossible to know what other people think. Most of the time, these thoughts like ‘I would never want to be my friend because I don’t make a lot of money’ or ‘This person is better than me or is a snob because he drives a BMW’, ‘and even ‘He’s my boss, which means he’s better than me’ and ‘I’ll never have a trustworthy friend’ only serve to break up the friendship before it can start. Chances are you’ve spent your life witnessing other people break up friendships or seeing other people betrayed by friends, which only helps you feel righteous in your beliefs. However, what if it’s those beliefs that keep you from having a plethora of friends waiting to fill your life with joy?
One of the reasons CBT is a perfect match for those suffering from social fears is because you will first be able to identify with your belief and thought patterns. It can be hard at first to get these things out of your mind, but once they’re open, you have a chance to rationalize them. What you will probably find is that little of how and what you think is based on actual experiences. You may have had a bad friendship in your life that forced you to erect a wall of beliefs that you feel now protect you. CBT can help you decide if those walls are more of a hindrance than a help and whether or not your preconceived notions are based on reason.
As humans get used to thinking in a certain way, the brain begins to move on autopilot. This means that instead of analyzing your own thoughts and what goes through your mind when you meet a potential friend, you immediately return to your comfort zone. This can be a difficult habit to break without tools to help you cope. CBT equips you with the tools you need to stop, think, question, and react differently than you have in the past. You can also succinctly put an end to the meaningless talk that puts a heavy weight on every facet of your life. A good therapist, for example one of the many anxiety therapists in Huntington Beach, can help you achieve your social goals.
When you are able to acknowledge, rationalize, and rethink your thoughts and belief system, you gain freedom from a world that never existed before. This world includes friendships that are healthy and empowering and that you deserve. CBT is not an overnight cure nor does it involve medication. However, it involves changing your life for the better by using your most valuable asset for health and happiness… your mind and your beliefs.
