o Despite increased reporting, most people picture a child molester as an ugly, old, or deranged man in a trench coat who persuades children to come to him in exchange for some candy. They don’t think about Uncle Gus or Aunt Milly, the next-door neighbor, the friendly clergyman, or the trusted family friend. They don’t think about mom, dad, cousins, siblings, grandparents or, in the case of single parents, their partner. These misconceptions are the only reason why sex offenders can continue to sexually abuse children.
o The widespread misconception that child sexual abuse consists primarily of children being abducted off the street and forcibly abused is the lowest incidence of child sexual assault. Although these incidents do occur, 99% of child sexual abuse survivors know their offender, who uses his status and knowledge of the child to intimidate and persuade the child to submit and obey.
o The most common response when I talk about the prevalence of child sexual abuse is in the form of denial: “I don’t have to worry about that in my community. That would never happen in my family.”
o Through numerous case studies, the Department of Justice has developed characteristics and behavior patterns of a pedophile. These characteristics and behavior patterns include, but are not limited to, the following:
Most of the time it is an adult male: 80% of children are sexually abused by family members; the father is the most frequent, followed by the uncle or grandfather and the stepfather or partner.
He is usually married.
Work in a wide range of occupations, from unskilled laborer, corporate executive, doctor, lawyer, judge, or clergyman.
Get along better with children than with adults.
Socialize with few adults unless they are pedophiles.
He usually prefers boys in a specific age group.
Usually prefers males or females, but can be bisexual.
You can seek employment or volunteer in programs that involve children of the age of your choice.
Persecuting children for sexual purposes.
He frequently photographs or collects photographs of his victims, whether clothed, naked, or in sexually explicit acts.
Collects child erotica and child-adult pornography:
Lower the inhibitions of the victims.
Fantasize when there is no potential victim available.
To revive their sexual activities.
To justify their activities. (The representation of others involved in these acts legitimizes them in the mind of the pedophile.)
To blackmail victims to prevent them from saying so.
He can possess and supply his victims with narcotics to lower their inhibitions.
Sometimes he recognizes that he is acting inappropriately and understands the seriousness of it, but is unable to stop because it is a compulsion.
It goes to great lengths to hide its illegal activity.
He does everything possible to present himself as an exemplary person; developing a person of irreproachable goodness, thus rejecting any suspicion of evil, especially against a child, to whom they have judicially professed great care and concern. Michael Jackson is the emperor of the society without clothes.
He rationalizes his illicit activities, emphasizing his positive impact on the victim and repressing feelings about the harm he has done.
Often portrays the child as the bully. This usually occurs after the child realizes that by denying him “sexual favors” he will get what he wants, such as new toys, clothes, or trips. Joey Buttafuoco, the Long Island body shop owner who gained notoriety in the 1990s when his teenage victim shot his wife; he used the ‘victim blaming’ defense that she wouldn’t leave him alone, as if she was the adult and he was the minor.
Talk about children as you would talk about an adult lover or spouse.
Most of the time, sex offenders are survivors of child sexual abuse; frequently seeks out children at the age or stage of physical development at which he was abused.
She often searches for publications and organizations that support her sexual beliefs and practices.
He typically corresponds with other pedophiles and trades child pornography and erotica as proof of involvement.
He is generally non-violent and has little trouble with the law (pedophiles are often respected members of the community).
To protect children from sexual abuse, parents/adults need to know: What is sexual abuse or incest; To do; and How to teach self-protection. Self-advocacy offers a direct and effective way to empower children to help themselves. Since the perpetrator cunningly and with foresight sets the stage to commit this crime in secret, who is better able to protect himself than the child? Sex offenders say they can feel a child to victimize; they perceive it by the behavior, body language and facial expressions of the child. Sex offenders choose victims they assume will keep the secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators. If only I had known… Sexual Abuse Within or Outside the Family: A Guide to Prevention is the one book every parent/caregiver needs to keep children safe. This book outlines seven compelling parent-approved, kid-tested techniques for thwarting would-be sex offenders.
